Minnesotans Share Their Awkward Public Bathroom Stories
My wife and I were out to dinner in Minneapolis over the weekend.
As we were preparing to leave the downtown restaurant, we stopped to use the restrooms. I walked in to the men's bathroom to find three men huddled together in the stall. They all turned to look at me suspiciously, and I stopped. One of them was on the phone, making the whole scene even more bizarre.
"Do I need to leave?" I asked cautiously.
"No, you're good, man," the one on the phone said. "I gotta go, babe," he said into the phone, wrapping up his conversation.
I did my business (sorry for the depth of details, but this is an awkward bathroom story) as the three men conversed about something I couldn't decipher. The one who'd been on the phone then asked me, "Hey, sorry to bother you while you're pissing, but -- you're not, like, law enforcement or anything are you?"
"Nope," I said, "I'm not."
"Man, he's here with his girl," said one of the other two, vouching for me (I was a little concerned that he'd noticed my wife and me before, but maybe it was to my benefit).
"Cool," the first guy continued. "Cause I'm about to do cocaine, and I didn't want to offend you or nothin'."
To be clear, this is the first time I'd ever been in a situation where cocaine was (supposedly) present. Even days later I'm not sure what the best response would have been, but I said the first thing that came to mind: "Do what you gotta do, man."
I washed my hands and got out of that bathroom as fast as I could. My wife couldn't believe it as I retold her the story later.
While certainly one of the most bizarre public bathroom stories that's ever happened to me, this incident wasn't the first or only, which got me thinking -- I wonder what stories our listeners have to share.
So I took to the Mix 94.9 Facebook page to ask -- "What's the strangest thing you've witnessed or seen in a public restroom?"
Answers from listeners did not disappoint:
"In Aitkin over the summer on my way back from "up north" I stopped at mcdonalds to use the bathroom and grab a snack. A woman was legit in the mcd bathroom getting ready for her 20 year high school reunion. She somehow roped me into giving my opinion on her look and hair etc. I was just trying to wash my hands lol, but she was sweet. Unexpected, yes, but not that weird/offputting hahaha" -- Jessica
"So, I'm at the Green Mill a few months back. Someone was having a "phone conference call" while sitting on the fricken toilet. Well, after about an hour or so after we finished lunch, had to use the restroom again. Guy was STILL in the stall, still doing, um.......his business? I just thought of how extremely sanitary that had to be." -- Craig
"Once at a bar up north we ran into a woman playing a didgeridoo into the sink, claiming the acoustics were amazing in there. First, still don’t know how she walked past the bouncer with that dang thing. Second, what? Third, why? Oh we chatted up, gave her an audience, but still never will forget it."