9 Questions MN Gas Stations Should Actually Ask Instead

If you've ever pumped your own gas in Minnesota -- and we all have -- then you know that the worst part isn't waiting for your tank to fill or when the box of complimentary windshield wiper fluid is empty or standing outside in freezing temperatures in the middle of winter or even when you splash a little bit of gasoline on your shoes or pants by accident.

No, the worst part is the seemingly endless list of questions and prompts you have to answer before you can even begin filling your tank!

“Credit or debit”

Does it matter? You're taking my money anyways.

“Enter zip code”

It's the same one I used the last time.

“Want a car wash?”

How about I tell you if I want a carwash so you don't have to ask anymore.

“Do you have a rewards card?”

No, and besides -- your free 40 cent donut isn't much of a reward.

“Do you want a receipt?”

Just assume I do. If I don't want it, I'll throw it away in the overflowing trash bin next to me.

I don't love answering questions when I all I really came to do is fill my gas tank. But here's a though -- what if the real issue is that gas station pumps are simply asking the wrong questions! Why can't I be asked how my day is going the next time I'm pumping gas? Yeah, that's a question I wouldn't mind being asked! Imagine if, after offering my answer, the gas station pump then asked, "Can I get you a beer?" Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I'd love that!

Well now that I'm on a roll, here are 9 questions or prompts I wish every Minnesota gas station pump would actually ask me the next time I stop to fill up:

1. "Press 1 for a free compliment."

2. "Press 2 for a live performance from our complimentary mariachi band."

3. "Press 3 for any free item of your choice in the store."

4. "Press 4 for a coupon to this week's featured five-star resort."

5. "Press 5 for a free carwash."

6. Press 6 to play tic-tac-toe."

7. "Press 7 for a full refund."

8. "Press 8 to print a complimentary ticket for the MN lottery."

9. "Press 9 to pet a puppy while you wait."

I mean, these don't seem like unreasonable questions to be asked at a gas station pump, right?