Yeah, No: 5 Things Minnesotans Are Tired of Being Told Are Great

Depending upon who you ask, Minnesota is a great place to live. We're usually at the top (or, at worst, in the middle) of quality of life surveys. Our infamous passive-aggressiveness knows no bounds, and g*@damnit it's called HOTDISH NOT CASSEROLE, BUDDY.

So what are we absolutely tired of being told? Yeah, no, here we go...

Five Things Minnesotans Are Tired of Being Told Are Great

#1: Roundabouts

There are too many really dumb people who still manage to get a driver's license for roundabouts to exist in this state. I know how to navigate one; but we're the state of waving people along at a four-way stop when we clearly have the right-of-way. We're too dumb for roundabouts.

#2: Zipper Merges

Zipper merging is the best way to keep traffic flowing at a relatively-normal pace during construction season. However: just like roundabouts, we're too stupid for zipper merges. The second we see that a lane ends we will pile on the moving violations to get to the other lane. What we're supposed to do is IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE ZIPPER MERGING IS UNMINNESOTAN.

#3: Full-Strength Beer at Grocery Stores

We're #1...of 1. We're the only state out of 50 semi-united states to sell 3.2 beer. Utah (UTAH!) exited the 3.2 scene in 2019 (just in time for...THAT), leaving us as the last state to water down our brew in grocery stores. Listen here, buddy: if we want full-strength beer, we'll make an extra trip to the liquor store to get it. What does a Minnesotan want? Three words: IN. CON. VENIENCE.

#4: Stanley Mugs

This'll likely get me unalived by a full brigade of soccer moms, but they're just in denial: until this state wins a Stanley CUP, this state don't need no Stanley MUG.

#5: Jocks With Phallic Nicknames

NOW WAIT A DANG MINUTE

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