The Royalton Stoplight Has Got To Go
This past weekend was the fishing opener and for the most part the traffic- heading north on Friday and south on Sunday- was smooth sailing. Until you got to Royalton that is.
On Sunday, the backup started just after Brandl Motors outside of Little Falls and lasted until, shockingly, the one stoplight between Sauk Rapids and Brainerd on Highway 10.
This stoplight has gotta go. Luckily, I have some ideas on how to remedy the situation.
#1 - HIRE ELON MUSK'S BORING COMPANY TO DIG A TUNNEL UNDER THE LIGHT
If we tell him there are aliens or something down there, he might even do it for free. We will start the hole in Little Falls and pop out near Halfway Crossing. Down you go before the light, then up you come. Easy-peasy. Good luck everyone.
#2- MOVE THE TOWN OF ROYALTON ABOUT 200 FEET TO THE LEFT (OR RIGHT)
This is probably more difficult than I am planning, but what's say we just pick up Royalton and move it a couple hundred feet to either side of that stoplight. Boom, problem solved. How much could a building possibly weigh? I am sure we can come up with the manpower to get this done.
#3 MONSTER TRUCK JUMPS FOR EVERYONE
I don't mean to be insensitive to the needs of the people of Royalton and their need to cross the highway at any given moment. In order to accommodate those residents, I think we should put a giant, dirt monster truck jump on Highway 10 for everyone to use for jumping over East Centre Street.