So there I was, on my porch listening to music when suddenly my tunes were drowned out by a giant buzzing sound. Expecting to see a bee or maybe a horsefly, imagine my horror when I looked toward my grill and saw this giant, part-machine cyborg murderbug perched upon the BBQ.

For real, what even is this thing and why does it look like it is made of shiny metal?! There's no way that thing doesn't have an active camera built into it so it can beam all of my activity back to Amazon or whatever.

This is honestly the most terrifying bug I have ever seen. The creepiest part is that it kept flying over our roof, seemingly taking a hint to leave, but then coming back time and time again to buzz around my head and scare me half to death.

Sadly, insect spray is useless against creatures such as this. Only silver bullets shot from a golden gun directly between the creatures' antennae will reverse the curse and bring down this silvery insect from down below.

I for one would like to welcome our new insect overlords to Sartell! Please let me know what I can do to make your rule more comfortable as I would really like to stay off your radar when in comes time for the inevitable culling of humankind.

As far as my porch is concerned, I have done the only reasonable thing. I burned it down to the ground.

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