Online Terms That Mid-lifers Want Off Their Digital Lawns NOW

Nothing ages me faster (besides my chronic back/hip pain) than trying to keep up with my teenager's lingo. I've had to bookmark Urban Dictionary and master using Incognito Mode just in case some seemingly-innocent term turns out to be absolute trash.

Which...is often.

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Just when you get caught up with phishing and malware, OUT OF NOWHERE comes smishing and vishing. While aware of the practice of those last two alleged actual words, I didn't know the actual words describing the practice sounded...well, dirty.

GET OFF MY DIGITAL LAWN!

Going down the list I'm oddly familiar with the last 28 terms on the list. I credit this to my status as a Xennial. We tend to not be on the cutting edge of things, but right behind that cutting edge after it's not quite so sharp. Because we're smart and don't want to get cut.

How many of these did you need to Google for a definition?

• Hyperling
• USB-C
• Ransomware
• URL
• Phishing
• QR Code
• Cloud (the digital version, not the things in the sky)
• Malware
• IP Address
• Cookies (again, the digital version, not the things that are massacred by the Cookie Monster
• Streaming (not the rivers)
• Tabs (not the pop, or "soda" for 'those people')
• Processor
• Spam (not the tasty treat that Hawaiians love)
• Antivirus
• Hardware
• Browser (not those things above your eyes)
• Upload
• USB
• Social Media (*hiss*)
• Emoji
• Webpage (who calls them that anymore?)
• App
• Google (not sure if they mean the actual site, or the all-encompassing verb)
• Download
• Search Engine (it's not in your car)
• Software
• Smartphone

The "QR" in "QR Code" stands for "Quick Response". Cool.

I'm still gonna need you to get off my digital lawn.

H/T: Study Finds