This weekend I was putting together a "fire table," which is one of those little square tables attached to a propane tank that makes a small ring of fire.

Now that we have that established, I will explain to you, kind reader, that I am terrified of propane tanks. I don't know why- I've never had any incidents with propane or anything.

Something about a highly pressurized canister of highly explosive gas, maintained by some teenager at the gas station, being hooked up to a device I probably incorrectly put together then set aflame with lighter makes me uneasy.

Call me crazy.

Needless to say I was being very careful putting this table together and following the instructions to a T. When it came time to connect the propane tank to the table I nearly lost my mind.

What even is that picture at the top of this story? I cannot tell you how long I sat on the porch like an idiot staring at this picture trying to figure out how NOT to blow up my family when I turned on the flame.

Eventually, I figured it out thanks to my vast experience playing Megatouch games at the restaurant I used to work at.

For anyone still starting at that picture wondering what the actual difference is... here comes a spoiler. Apparently the big difference is the hose is below the guy's hand as he installs it as opposed to over his hand? I'm still not really sure what difference that would make but okay sure.

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