LAWDAMERCY, I feel my cholesterol risin'...

Dairy Queen has released their Summer Blizzard Menu, and now I have to choose between having a beach bod (that I haven't had in decades) and a Blizzard bod. We already know how this ends.

The Dairy Queen Summer Blizzard Menu Drops April 1st

Three favorites from previous years are returning:

  • Frosted Animal Cookie
  • Brownie Batter
  • Cotton Candy

Frosted Animal Cookie sounds like the goodest of flashbacks to being a kid...besides not having bills and responsibilities. Brownie Batter is gooey chilled goodestness. Cotton Candy sounds like sugar-flavored frozen sugar...but ya know it's good if it's coming back.

Those would be enough (maybe), but DQ didn't stop there. It gets even gooder...

Dairy Queen's introducing three NEW flavors for this year's Summer Blizzard Menu:

  • Peanut Butter Cookie Dough
  • Ultimate Cookie
  • Picnic Peach Cobbler

I loves me some peanut butter, and cookies are definitely not a problem for me (yet), so Peanut Butter Cookie Dough just sounds AH-MAZE-ING. Ultimate Cookie mixes Oreo, Chips Ahoy!, and Nutter Butter cookies into one wop of a Blizzard. Picnic Peach Cobbler might just help bring out your inner Southern Belle/Gentleman...well, hopefully not. We're in Minnesota here. Just be kind.

Despite the new Blizzards being available April 1st, they insist this is no joke. It'd better not be. You just don't joke about something like this, especially with winter weather finally about to bear down on us.

At this point in the year, the only blizzards we want are the kind you can flip upside down and not lose.

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