The Truth About Health Food: It Can Actually Be Hazardous

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? ~Freddie Mercury

So there you are, minding your business, finally getting into a good long-term habit of eating healthy. You've managed to make kale palatable, have learned to appreciate the versatility and flavor of sweet potatoes, and can reliably turn to almonds as a snack in-between meals. You don't feel like you're suffering because of your healthy lifestyle...

...until you find yourself suffering because of your healthy lifestyle. You're fatigued and achy; and in this post-COVID world, that starts sounding alarms. You take a test...and it comes back negative. A couple days later - when the fatigue and achiness still hasn't subsided - you take another COVID test...and it still comes back negative. Negative test results aren't a bad thing, but now you know that you don't know what's causing your body's distress.

What the aych-ee-double-hockey-sticks happened?!

Turns out, the healthy food could likely be the cause (Choad's articles are NOT a substitute for a medical professional's opinion, despite this being The Internet. Consult your doctor if you're experiencing these symptoms).

According to a study published in For Women First, there's a thing called, "Oxalates", that are naturally-occurring anions found in some foods.

Nerd-talk aside, Oxalates can cause kidney stones and gout. Hooray!

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Where are Oxalates found?

Spinach, rhubarb, star fruit, black pepper (NOT THE BLACK PEPPER!!!), chocolate, nuts, berries, beans...to name a few.

How are they hurting me?

When oxalates build up, they can harm cell membranes and block the absorption of vitamins and minerals. Oxalates = Jerkfaces.

What's my risk?

Again: consult a licensed physician, but unless you eat copious amounts of oxalate-rich foods, you're not likely to experience much more than discomfort.

How do I avoid Oxalate Overload?

Drink enough water, and make sure your diet has enough calcium. Oxalates bind to calcium, making them easier to flush out by way of Number 2 (pooping), which is far less painful than flushing them out by way of Number 1 (helloooo, kidney stones).