Presented here is the "Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix," which according to its presenter is "everything a young man needs to know about women." Judge for yourself, but we get the idea that this guy doesn't actually interact with very many women but perhaps watched 'Fatal Attraction' a few too many times when he was at an impressionable age.

Basically, it's a simple chart with a a woman's physical attractiveness, ranked from 1-10 (of course), graded against her apparent level of craziness, ranked 4-10, because "there's no such thing as a woman who's not at least a 4 crazy"—and that reasoning alone should give you a pretty good idea of what to expect thereafter. Redheads and strippers, for example, fall into the "Danger Zone" of high-level crazy, rather than the "Fun Zone" of apparently acceptable levels of crazy combined with an attractiveness level of at least 5. Yes, it's all very scientific.

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