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When is it Time to Break Up?

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If you’ve been thinking about breaking up with someone, sometimes the “yes” comes quickly, but if you’re not sure, here are a few ways to tell if it’s time to tell them to hit the road.

Breaking up sucks, so there are a few questions you should ask yourself before you give them the old heave ho. First, write down the list of pros and cons. Also, it’s important to not do this immediately after a disagreement, because all you’ll see is the bad stuff, so wait until you’re at a calm point in your relationship.

One of the questions you should ask is, “Is that an annoying habit or a deal breaker?” Do they leave their dirty socks in the living room? Are they a terrible driver? If so, are those things really worth breaking up over? Now, if they’re rude to others, rude to you and belittle you, those are things that are pretty serious and may be deal breakers. I dated a guy who wasn’t the nicest to servers and retail workers and having done both of those jobs, I just couldn’t handle it and sent him packing.

Focus on you for a little bit. It may give you a little moment of clarity. What are you looking for out of life? Can this person help you get there? More questions to ask is “Have I stopped hanging out with my friends since we started dating?” Call up your best friends and go out as a group without your significant other once a month. “Have I stopped working out now that we’re comfortable with each other?” Go back to the gym. Working out is an incredible stress buster. Start doing things without them that makes you happy and move forward from there. My best friend had a guy that wouldn’t really leave her time to do things with her friends. He consumed a lot of her time and she stopped her daily workout routine, she stopped seeing her family, etc. It was when she realized how much of her time and energy he was taking away from her that she decided it was time for things to change and she ended up breaking things off.

Start thinking about your future and imagine a life without that person. Can you see it? What would your life be like if the two of you weren’t together? This one you really need to think about because once you pull the trigger, it’s hard to go back. I’ve learned one of the most important things in a relationship, especially a serious, committed one is not to find someone you can live with. It’s finding someone you can’t live without.

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