Kids secretly speculate about their neighbors based on the goodies they get on Halloween. Everyone always knows who the doctors and the dentists in the neighborhood are. They also know the homes to avoid on Halloween. What you give away on the spookiest night of the year says a lot about yourself whether you want it to or not.

King size/regular bars of candy — You’re a doctor. You make a lot of money and you want everyone to know. You’re the favorite house on the block and parents secretly hate you. But, kids love you and look up to your success. Keep on being you.

Cans of soda — You get it. You’re a kid at heart and also really enjoy Halloween. You’re probably a young newlywed couple without children. You understand that Halloween is a day for kids to go crazy on sugar. Who cares how much sugar you give them, you don’t have to deal with them later–their parents do. Kids around the world thank you.

Handful of the fun sized “good stuff” — You remember what it’s like being a kid. You’re no doctor, but you’re a fun adult and pretty successful in your own right. You definitely have kids and you’re probably really good at doing the parent thing. You buy Twix, Kit Kats, Snickers, Milky Way, Reese’s and other kid favorites. You give candy away by the handful and kids love you. Thanks for making Halloween a blast!

One piece of the fun sized “good stuff” — You either want to keep all of the candy for yourself, or you’ve completely forgotten what it’s like to be a kid. You probably lived during the Great Depression. Kids leave your home thinking you’re kind of a stingy person. Why are you so stingy?

“Please take one” sign on the front steps next to your candy bowl — You’re a busy person with things to do and people to see on Halloween. You’re probably a new homeowner who also doesn’t have children. You’re also way too trusting of a person. Chances are, the kid down the street is going to take your entire bowl. The kid that gets to your bowl first will appreciate your effort.

Bad candy (Bit-O-Honey, hard candy wrapped like a strawberry, black licorice, etc.)– You weren’t allowed to go trick-or-treating as a child. Kids know this and feel bad for you so they come to your house anyway. You most likely don’t have children and you’re not really sure what kids like. They definitely do not like anything that isn’t covered in Hersey’s milk chocolate.

Mint candy–You work at a front desk…probably at a large office building. Your clients and guests love to enjoy your mint candy. So, you figured kids would too. This candy is meant to stay at the reception desk. Please don’t pass it out to children.

Dumb Dumb suckers–You have letting go issues. Summer is over and so are the parades for the year but you’re not ready for it to be done. You’re also into re-purposing things–like, giving away your leftover parade suckers for Halloween. Your neighbors definitely noticed.

Tooth brush/fruit –– you’re clearly a dentist and you’re proud of it. You like to use this holiday as an opportunity to promote your own agenda. I’m glad you want to feel included but I don’t think this holiday was really meant for you. Your kids will probably grow up to be bad candy givers because they don’t know any better.

Homemade popcorn balls/Homemade anything–You’re a Martha Stewart fan and you also have cats…and lots of them. We can tell because their fur is stuck to the popcorn ball. Parents usually try to get their kids to avoid going to this house–but kids go there anyway because they don’t know any better.

Nothing–You don’t like kids, candy or Halloween. You’d rather turn your lights out and sit in the dark all night. You’re the Grinch of Halloween and everyone knows it. Kids are afraid to walk on your lawn or even on the sidewalk directly in front of your house.

Happy Halloween! :)