Six Tests To Determine If You’ve Found The Right Man
I remember coming out of my divorce feeling less than attractive, depressed and unworthy. After months of crying in my pillow and jogging til I couldn't jog anymore, a very attractive, seemingly kind man asked me out. Of course, I fell for him, head over heels, and it lasted about 5 months...It started out like an amazing Cinderella story, it ended more like a horror movie....serious anger issues, a little crazy, and another run around type.
How do you know what to look for? First impressions are typically good. Everyone is on their best behavior....They look the look, walk the walk, and talk the talk. How do you filter what's real and worth keeping, from what we think we really need and want?
There's always this stigma that we are going to know when "Mr. Right" pops into the picture. If you're like me, coming out of a 20 year marriage, dating or even thinking about finding the "right" person seems impossible. Here are a few tips I found from an online article.
TEST 1- FIGHT HIM
What?! Fight? On purpose? This is something I've never tried! According to www.patheos.com, you can tell just about everything you need to know about a person by the way they fight. People go nuts when they fight. What you want to know is, How crazy can he go? How long does he stay mad? Does he stick to the point? Does he insult and yell, or at the worst, punch the wall? If he actually listens to what you are saying during a heated argument, it's a GOOD sign. You'll have to watch...Does he hold a grudge and bring up personal weaknesses every time you fight? This would be a good sign that he's more likely to be Mr. Wrong.
TEST 2- GO FOR A LONG DRIVE WITH HIM
People are pretty good about keeping themselves together for a pretty good length of time. So you might be with someone for 4 months, and still not know who they are. So take a drive with them...A LONG drive. Across the country if you will! I just traveled over 900 miles with my significant other for the first time, and just about anything that could happen....Did! Our car broke down, we had a spider in our food...We were a day behind schedule, and of course that lead to being over budget for the trip. You know what? It was one of the best trips I've EVER taken. We had great conversation...He watched out for my children...He made sure we were all taken care of...and we laughed about our misfortune all the way home. If you are with someone that can't find one ray of sunshine as you travel across the nation, then you might want to reconsider. This crab apple could end up hanging on your tree!
TEST 3- HAVE HIM TAKE CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU'RE REALLY SICK
You know that you've got little tricks up your sleeve to get a man to notice you. Your make up is perfect. Your hair just happens to look so "flowing" today...could it be because you spent 45 minutes with product and a blow dryer trying to get that just woke up tossled hair look? What happens when you have no make up? What happens when your breath smells bad...What if you are sick and throw up...What if you cough and sneeze a lot, and it ends up all over his sleeve? Yuk! Well...Real life? Gross things happen. Is he willing to bring you soup in bed? A heating pad? Rub your back? Fluff your pillows? If he steps up to the plate...It's a good sign.
TEST 4- OTHER WOMEN
Flirting harmlessly is one thing. Having girls sit in his lap, and ignoring you at the party is another. Many women feel like it's their fault...That they are not attractive enough...That if they were good enough, he wouldn't have to flirt like that. I'm just sayin...I lived it....Stop feeling like you're unworthy. It doesn't matter what shape, size and weight you are. If a man loves you for you....he won't disrespect you like this. He won't even want you.
TEST 5- WATCH HOW HE TREATS SERVICE PERSONNEL
When he takes you out to dinner, notice how he treats the servers. Does he leave a tip? Does he complain about the food to try to get a free meal? How about janitors, valets, delivery people? If he treats them as though they are below him, you might as well tell him to "kiss your grits" and get out. You'll be the mat he'll be stepping on soon enough.
TEST 6- WHAT KIND OF WINNER/LOSER IS HE
You play a friendly game of pool....He slams down the stick, and walks out of the room when you win the game. You play pull tabs...You win $100 and he wins $2 so he grabs his keys and says.."Lets go!" How does he respond to defeat? It's okay to be competitive...but doing your best and congratulating the winner is much more admirable than throwing a temper tantrum.
Hopefully your man passes the tests...maybe some more than others...but a well rounded individual is going to share his life with you, respect you, and care for you whether you've got a big zit on your nose, or if you look like a million bucks. If he passes all 6 tests, you just might have a keeper on your hands.
Original article found at www.johnshore.com