Kelly Cordes and I were having a good talk about relationships the other day and we were reminiscing about old relationships we had, what went wrong and the great times we’re having now and how not to screw it up, so it got me thinking: If I felt this way, and she felt this way, do we all do these same things?

Acting Insanely Jealous

Men are programmed to look. Before they even know they’re looking, they’re looking. It’s usually just long enough for us to catch them and smack them upside the head. If you act insanely jealous every time he looks at another woman or talks to another woman is a huge turn off and it’s going to make you look very, very insecure. Jealousy is such an unneccessary strain that we put on ourselves. If you’re worried your man is going to cheat, then talk to him about it, but no smart man is going to look for someone to cheat with right in front of you.

Making Them Your Whole World

I’ve known a couple of girls who made their man their whole world. They couldn’t do anything without him and wouldn’t make plans with you if he couldn’t come along; they couldn’t leave him for the evening to go see a movie with the girls and couldn’t make a single decision without him. Ladies, please don’t forget your friends when you get into a relationship. We’re happy you found someone who made you happy, but we need to hang out as girls alone.

Not Giving Him Space

I had someone say to me that we shouldn’t see each other so much anymore because he “needed space”. What? Looking back, I knew exactly what he was talking about. If he’s upset, had a bad day or generally says he doesn’t want to talk, it’s best to respect his feelings and take a step back. Sure, you’re disappointed he doesn’t want to talk to you about it, but men don’t like sharing their feelings. Let him deal with it the way he wants to deal with it. I failed to do that and ended up alone.

You’re Trying to Change Him

Women marry men hoping that they change. Men marry women hoping that they don’t. When we get into relationships, oftentimes love makes us blind. Eventually, we can see their faults, but how many of us think, “Oh, I can change THAT.”? That’s the reason so many relationships fail. I was engaged to someone who was a total mama’s boy. I thought that maybe since he hadn’t had a girlfriend in a while, he was just used to hanging out with his mom and he would eventually come around. Nope. I wanted to go and look for a house for us to live in because I didn’t want to live with his parents and he asked, “Why not? All my stuff is here and I don’t pay rent.” He wasn’t kidding. We eventually split and it was for the better big time. When you get into the relationship and stay in the relationship, it should be for the way he is, not the way you want him to be and the same should go for him, too.