Is Facebook Ruining Marriages?
One study says yes because most forbidden relationships (office romances, out of town flings) can take a while to develop in real life. On Facebook people feel like they click in just a few clicks. Here are a few more ways marriages can be ruined thanks to social media.
We've all seen the headlines about how someone caught their spouse cheating because of Facebook, and we dismiss it by saying that if someone cheated because of Facebook, they had problems to begin with, but that's not always the case. The experts at YourTango say that we "feel bolder behind a screen" than we do in front of someone and that we think there is a "disconnect" between our online lives and our real lives and sometimes we "press send faster than common sense can kick in." Here are a few other ways we can avoid a recipe for a disaster.
Walking Down Memory Lane
Old flames, crushes and hook ups are all on Facebook and it's really easy to find them. Reaching out to talk about "back in the day" can bring back those feelings for both parties. The longer you walk down memory lane, the better the chances are that some sort of affair, be it emotional or physical can occur.
Letting Facebook Dominate Every Part of the Day
With smart phones and tablets all over and Facebook omnipresent, we can access our news feed any time, any where. It's great if you have some big news to share, but over time it can feed in to an addictive personality and we may even become co-dependent on the site and caring for a virtual town on Cityville or pretend animals on Farmville can take away from time spent with your real family and real pets and create some real issues.
Airing Dirty Laundry
When we see "What's on Your Mind?" in the status update box, it doesn't mean we should just spew all of our problems. It's merely a suggestion. Every relationship has its ups and downs and using Facebook to announce problems in a marriage, debate our marital issues or go off on our spouses is only going to make it complicated.
Over Sharing Through Chat
Discussing marital issues through a private conversation with someone who is not our spouse can be looked at as an emotional affair. Depending on our motives or the motive of the person we are spilling to about our bad relationship can lay the foundation for a new relationship with that person down the road.
Flirting on posts, pictures or profiles is wholly inappropriate so be mindful of what you post and how it comes across to others. Flirting with only our spouse is part of the wedding vows, but somehow it gets forgotten when we're on Facebook.
Friending Those that Threaten the Marriage
The login page when you get to Facebook says "Facebook helps you connect and share with people in your life" and depending on who that is, it may not always be a good thing. If our friends are having a negative impact on our marriages, in can lead to damage beyond repair. Those people can include ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, flirts or friends and family with no filter. I had to get rid of a few people on my friends list recently because they lacked the ability to filter themselves. It made me sad to have to do it, but I was actually ashamed of what they wrote on my page.
Facebook actually ruined a relationship that I had. I was dating someone off and on for a while and I got so annoyed that every time I was at his house and he was "working" on his lap top, I realized that he was creeping profiles of his ex-girlfriends and was ignoring me, so I thought, "Enough of this!" Every time I tried to talk to him to break it off, I'd be talking and he wouldn't be listening to me, so as I was sitting on his couch, I sent him a Facebook message breaking it off because that was the only way to get his attention.
Has Facebook ever ruined your relationship? Do you know of anyone whose relationship was ruined because of it?