I CHEATED

I feel like a tree has fallen on me. Cindy Wear, a co-worker and I, are great friends. We confide in each other, we have each other's backs, we count on each other when we need a boost.

THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR

Recently, I've been working on a 10 day cleansing to avoid sugar. Even through all the different programs that have helped me through the years, I always found a way to sneak in at least a little bite of something sweet.

I'm proud to say I actually survived a personal 10 day challenge! No sugar! It was so exciting to make it a full 10 days!  I shared my success with Cindy, and it inspired her to join me.

Yesterday was day 10 for me.  I told Cindy that I was going to start a new 5 day goal today, to make sure I don't have cravings again. Cindy, on the other hand, is on day 6.

Last night was a tough one; however; I did not break. I actually thought about calling Cindy at about 11 pm, but I didn't want to wake her. Heck...I just needed to go to bed anyway.

This morning, I stopped by Kwik Trip and bought two hard boiled eggs, a Caesar salad, veggies and water.

When I got to work, everything was fine. UNTIL! Chad came back from his office with a plate of cookies his daughter and her friend had made last night. They actually made them just for us, and put our initials on them! "You HAVE to have one of these."

THE GUILT

All of a sudden, even after all the hard work of avoiding, planning, and succeeding for 10 straight days, I started finding excuses to have one of those cookies. "Sure...I can have just one...I've made it 10 days...I'll just have one and get back on track after that."

As I'm justifying that it's okay to have this cookie, Cindy was walking around the corner. You should have seen her eyes! The disappointment! The look of terror. "You're NOT eating that?!"

She was so disappointed. She was coming in to tell me about her success of throwing a candy bar in the garbage that was put in front of her last night, and here I was; eating a cookie.  After that ONE bite, I felt so guilty, I dropped the cookie in the garbage can.  Oh...the shame...I still feel guilty. I realized I had been called out..but more than anything, even though we had a good laugh...I actually felt bad. Cindy was counting on me...and in that moment, I gave in. BUT! Now I have to prove that I can stay on track. I never want to feel this guilt again!