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How to Get Fired

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Looking to lose your job? Just by following these steps, you will earn your ticket to the unemployment line.

Looking for a New Job?

If you are, don’t let your current employer know. If you’re looking for a new job, do it on your own time. Being not so secretive about finding a new job can punch your ticket out the door. Anybody can walk by and see what you’re up to and how do you explain that to your boss? It’s a good bet that I.T. also monitors your activity so applying for jobs, or sending resumes and cover letters from your work computer is never a good idea.


“Did You Hear…”

Being the office gossip isn’t going to win you any friends. People do it all the time, but making one ill timed content can really get you into trouble. If your chit chat turns negative – true or not – can really hamper your chances at getting a promotion down the road.


Ring Ring!

Making or taking too many personal phone calls during the day not only kills your productivity, it looks really bad. If you’re planning a party, making vacation plans or calling your bookie to move around your money for the Final Four should all be done on your own time. Especially if it’s long distance. You may be able to get away with it a time or two, but if you’re slacking, it’s going to be noticeable and if you don’t get the axe, you’ll at least get pulled in for a talking to.


Surf’s Up!

Social networking could also be called “social not-working”. If your workplace doesn’t block certain sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+ etc. consider yourself lucky. But if your boss or I.T. department notices workers spending more time on social media than they are on their big second quarter sales projection, someone’s going to get in trouble, or someone will block those websites. I was always told “it’s a privilege not a right. Don’t abuse it.”


Alienation Nation

You don’t have to like everyone in your office, but you do have to keep up a working relationship with them, so try and keep coworker friction to a minimum. If you don’t play nice with others, management may find someone who can.

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