How to Beat Relationship Pitfalls
More people file for divorce in January than any other month, so here are a few ways to beat relationship pitfalls and stay the course.
A study published by eDivorcePapers.com says that January sees more divorce filings than any other month of the year. Couples wait until after Christmas to file for divorce and Divorce Consultant Cathy Meyer says that there’s no real “D-Day” for the most divorce filings, but trends show that the first Monday after the kids go back to school seems to be the most popular day. Sometimes it’s inevitable, but sometimes it’s not. Here are a few ways to beat some relationship pitfalls.
Tell the Truth
You’ve heard the phrase “The truth shall set you free” and it’s true. Telling the truth is actually good for your health as well. Research from the University of Notre Dame says that people who told fewer lies had fewer issues with mental and physical health. If you told your spouse that you “stayed late at work” but you really went to happy hour, tell them. Own up to it. If you don’t say anything and they find out later, that trust is broken and they’ll wonder what else you haven’t been telling them.
Remember what first attracted you to them in the first place. Glen and I have both put on a few pounds since the wedding, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t find each other attractive. He still has the same sense of silliness, the same gentle demeanor, the same warm smile and the same sparkling blue eyes. Focus on the positive. Before they leave for work in the morning, tell them they look nice. After almost 40 years together, my Dad still thanks my Mom for makes supper and gives her compliments on it. She makes supper for him every night. A 25 year study by the National Institute of Health following more than 300 couples found that those who complimented their spouse or significant other were the happiest, so give them some positive words out of the blue. It could make a lot of difference.
If you’re heading out for dinner, invite your best friend and their spouse out with you. Research from the University of Maryland shows that couples who double date strengthen their own relationships. If you go out with another couple and you see her out and being social, it may reveal a new side of her that could make her more attractive. You could also see something to shoot for and a relationship you’d like to have, or on the other hand, a relationship you’d never want to have which makes you grateful for what you do have.
A lot of schedules can be quite hairy. You get up in the morning, get ready for work, get the kids on the bus and then you head to work yourself. Then you have to make dinner, clean up, help with homework, get the kids in the tub and then get them to bed before you have a chance to breathe and talk with your sweetie. Make it a point in the morning to kiss. Even if it’s right away when you wake up in the morning when you both have death breath. Just take a few minutes to say good morning and kiss a little and then before you go to bed, take a few minutes to kiss some more. It’ll help. Trust me.