First dates can be intimidating. You feel like you connected with him and then he doesn’t call. You did your best to hide your flaws and laugh at his jokes, but still no call. So, what happened?

When asked where you want to go or ask what you’d like to do on your date, guys say “Be decisive. Don’t say, ‘I don’t know. What do you think?’ Or tell him ‘It’s up to you.’” He asked where you want to go. He may pick a seafood restaurant and you’re allergic to fish, so when he asks where you want to go and there’s a place you love or somewhere you’d like to try, say so. I’ve had that awkward back and forth before and it’s no fun, so guys say, when you’re asked, make a decision. If you truly don’t know and he gives you some options, pick one. Don’t go all out expensive, either. Guys don’t like that.

It’s always tricky when the bill comes. Sure, he may have asked you out and is planning to pay, but they say to make a gesture. Don’t immediately make a grab for it. I was on a first date once and he wouldn’t look at or breathe in the direction of the bill. For an HOUR. I wanted to get going so I grabbed it and he said thanks before I offered to split it, so I ended up taking care of the whole thing! It was awkward, but guys say that ladies should wait for them to make a move for it and then we should reach for our bag or pocketbook. Continue to look for your credit card or cash until he says otherwise. If he doesn’t say something like, “I’ve got it.” Or “Don’t worry about it”, offer to pay for what you had, but guys say that we shouldn’t ask to split the bill; instead they say to tell them “I’d really like to split this.” When he does hand over his credit card, don’t forget to say thank you.

Speaking of eating, guys say eat like you would if you were out with your girlfriends or your mom. Guys say, “Don’t order a half portion of the garden salad with no dressing and then just eat half of that. We aren’t going to think you’re hot and skinny. We’re going to think you’re anorexic.” Guys say it’s important to eat like you normally would. Guys say they like it when women actually eat and take pleasure in it. If you’re hungry, order food. I once went out with a guy and I was hungry when we went and I ordered a pint of beer, a bacon cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato, barbecue sauce and ranch dressing with tater tots. We dated for five really fun months, so eat up.

When you’re getting ready for the date and you’re going to a nice restaurant, a little black dress and heels is appropriate. Dangly earrings, a bracelet, clutch and necklace finish off the look well. If you’re going to a casual restaurant or brew pub, you’re going to stick out like a sore thumb and be uncomfortable which guys say make him uncomfortable. Guys say it’s important to dress for what you’re going to be doing. If you’re going bowling, don’t look like a slob, but look like you fit in. They say that there’s a word for women who can be casual, cute and fit with what they like to do. They’re called girlfriends.

I don’t think this last one is fair, but, apparently it’s the truth. Guys say “Wait for us to get in touch first.” Even if you want to text him and tell him how much fun you had, don’t. Guys say that if they had fun, “We will definitely come to you.” And if they don’t get in touch? “We don’t see a future” or “We didn’t have fun.” After Glen and I went out the first time, even though I didn’t know it was a first date, he sent me a text the next day, but I asked him out the following Saturday and the rest is history.