Don’t Overlook These Relationship Red Flags
Here are a few things to look out for when you're searching for Mr. (or Mrs.) Right.
I stumbled on a discussion on reddit yesterday I found particularly interesting because I know someone who overlooked pretty much every single thing on this list. Needless to say, they found themselves alone and unhappy and the rest of us were silently saying, "I told you so."
They Use Ultimatums
"If you don't go see this movie I'm going to leave you behind and go without you." Does that sound familiar? If it does, that usually means your partner uses ultimatums and threats to get what they want instead of compromising. What the discussion should sound like is this: "OK. Well, since we chose my movie last time, we should see your movie this time, but next time, can we talk about it beforehand?" This means that they're irrational and demanding. What's going to happen when the two of you get to the really heavy and important relationship stuff? Yikes!
They Keep You Away From Friends
The ideal mate would want to meet your friends, and have you meet their friends and all hang out together. If the person you're with doesn't want to be around your friends, doesn't want you to meet their friends, and doesn't want you to be around your friends, it's time to end it. I knew a girl who was dating a guy that refused to meet me, and also refused to allow her to hang out with me or even talk to me. I think it was because I had him figured out and he didn't like that very much.
They Can't Get Along
Not only did they keep you away from friends, when your friends finally did meet them, they hated them. You're determined to show your friends that they're a good person and show your friends wrong, but sometimes you just need to think about the fact that maybe they're right. Ok, so they don't get along with one of your friends, but the whole bunch? It's not them, it's your partner. The same friend of mine who had the guy keep her away from everyone also dated someone who nobody liked. She saw the light and got rid of him and it's a good thing because it turns out he's now a meth addict who likes to knock off liquor stores.
They Keep Talking About Their Exes
Answering the question, "What ended your last relationship" and talking about your ex that way is fine, but if they go on and on about one particular ex means they're likely not over them. Also, if they go on and on about how all of their exes are crazy, chances are, the exes were the sane one to get rid of them.
You're On a Pedestal
I dated a guy six years younger than me. It was fun for a while, but I soon realized he was so into dating someone so much older than himself, he lost sight of what being in a relationship was all about. He was so amazed at everything I did, the fact that I was on the radio, etc. He was looking at all of this exterior stuff and wasn't seeing the real me. I felt like I had to put on a facade to make him keep liking me and realized that wasn't the way to be. While being on a pedestal may be fun for a while, they're just seeing an idolized version of you and the only place to go is down. That's not a good feeling.
You'd see each other once during the week, then you always had plans on Friday and Saturday night, period end of story. Friday you'd go to the movies and Saturday would be a cruise somewhere followed by dinner and snuggling up. Sunday was brunch with their family and heading home to get ready for the week. Then suddenly they couldn't go to the movies because of this. They "didn't feel like riding" because of that. They couldn't go to brunch because they were sleeping. Chances are they're two timing you like they were in my case, although if you asked him he "didn't have a girlfriend" and they "aren't anybody's boyfriend, either." It's clear they're making excuses as to why they can't see you, so don't make them a priority if they only make you an option.