Do You Apologize Too Much?
Are you one of those people who constantly apologize to people, even if the person you are apologizing to is the one to blame? I'm sorry.....but I have to say...I'm one of those people. Even if no one is at fault, I will always apologize. It drives me CRAZY.
When I moved back to Minnesota, I couldn't believe how many people here apologize on a daily basis...More so than anywhere else I've lived. I guess this might be considered one definition of "Minnesota Nice". (The definition of a Minnesotan: A hard working, apologetic, and kind individual that lives in snow and ice).
So why do YOU say, "I'm sorry"? Is there merit behind it? Is it to make other people feel more worthy? Do you want people to know you're not "Too big for your britches"? If someone bumps into you...if your husband steals all the covers in the middle of the night...If the waitress spills your water....honestly....you KNOW it's not your fault. So why apologize? Here are some tips to practice the appropriate times to say I'm sorry.
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR HABITS
Try to notice when you are apologizing, and how many times a day you are apologizing. Just by recognizing your habits, it may help you figure out whats happening.
Did someone in your past attack you, and make you feel bad about standing up for yourself? This happened to me in college, and I've never recovered. It was just a fellow student, but it was such a personal attack, I took a back seat and still do today.
HOW DO YOU FEEL
When you apologize for everything, how does it make you feel? Do you feel better? Do you feel below others every time you speak? It's time to realize that no one is better than anyone else. An opinion can scar us deeply. but we are responsible for our own feelings...and it is up to us to change our own feelings towards ourselves.
APPROACH THINGS DIFFERENTLY
You CAN refuse a request politely, using compromise, wit and honesty. Apologies are not required. If you are a people pleaser this may be difficult for you, but realizing your habits will help you break them.
TURN THINGS DOWN WITHOUT APOLOGIZING
Try saying, "Excuse me," or "Pardon me," instead of "I'm sorry" if you bump into someone. If they bump into you, it's not your job to really say anything at all. Although uncomfortable at first, remember that you are just as important as they are. Apologies are not always necessary.
YOU ARE IMPORTANT
We all want to make sure that people know we have the best of intentions. But it's never to early to have a little bit of self respect and confidence. Take back what others have burdened you with. Believe in yourself, and know that it's okay to be proud of your accomplishments, beliefs and way of thinking.