Dayna Deters- Changing Your Mindset
I love having Dayna Deters stop by our studios each week. She always has incredible advice for those of us on the road to finding great health and happiness. Here's last Wednesday's message from Dayna.
Changing Your Mindset to Change your Life- By Dayna Deters
February is a tough month because we have Old Man Winter here, and this year seems to be at its worst! So that means we need to put our positive reinforcements to work. When it comes to positive self-talk it really needs to be done on a daily, hourly, and minute to minute basis. It takes a lot of practice, but believe me - it will really help with those winter blues.
I have to admit I have not always been the most positive person. Actually, I was pretty negative at one point in my life, but with a lot of practice with daily affirmations and taking care of myself I have really been trying to live a positive life.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have my moments, but everyday gets better. So I’m here to help you with not only your fitness, weight-loss, and health goals, but also your mental wellness. To me, this is the most important aspect and it does get pushed to the side.
When you start on your new journey, don't worry much on how you're going to get from A to B - just start walking in the direction of your goal or dream. Get started by doing whatever you can, however small, and then do the next thing. But take the necessary steps to make it happen.
Some things in life can bring you down and lead you to a negative attitude, so let’s fix some of the things you have control of.
This is a big one that can weigh people down and become more negative. It cannot only cause health issues but also make you irritable and unhappy. So trying to keep a balance in life is key. Manage your stress and you'll fix almost everything. Some activities that can help stress:
- Breathing breaks
- Mini-meditations throughout the day
- Positive self-talk
If you are not getting enough sleep at night, try taking naps like I mentioned last week. Cat naps can vary from 30-90 minutes (probably no later because it will affect your night-time sleep).
Sleep appears essential to improve and maintain energy levels, immune system effectiveness, mental and emotional clarity, and overall well-being. When you feel good, you function better.
Sleep deprivation can also play a role in anxiety or depression if you are touched by those. If you're struggling with any of those things and you're not getting enough sleep (less than 8 hours a night), aim for improved sleep first before trying any other life strategies.
If you respect your own boundaries--people will respect you!
I have been a terrible people-pleaser and spent way too much time and effort trying to make everyone happy. Practice building self-awareness, discover what you are willing to do and what you don't want to do. Start putting this into practice by saying “No” when something doesn't resonate or align with who you really are.
Be who you are and not what a person wants you to be. The fact of being you is the best thing. People might get mad at first, but eventually most will come to respect you. And you won't secretly resent them anymore. Oh, the peace! Be yourself, unapologetically. This expands on the people-pleasing piece. I would have totally fit this one a few years back but I really love who I am today and will continue to speak my mind and really be the person I am meant to be. So many of us, me included, grew up focusing on what other people or society thought we should do.
Start checking in with yourself about who you really are, despite your circumstances and outside influences. What do you really love? What do you long to do? How would you love to live? In whatever way you can, start shifting your life towards living more authentically and watch what happens.
And lastly, stop worrying about what others think, most of the time they are not even thinking about you. So put more attention on you and YOUR needs.
Develop your positive attitude!Here are some ways to help you create a positive attitude that will bring peace into your life:
Listen to internal dialogue
Divide one or more sheets of paper into two columns and, for a few days, jot down in the left column all the negative thoughts that come into your head. Rewrite each thought in a positive way in the second column. Practice doing this in your mind until it becomes a habit.
Instead of saying: “I’ll never look that way, I will still be fat.” Say this instead—even if you feel it is not really accurate. “I am beautiful the way I am and I deserve to take care of myself.” Once you start this habit of saying positives you will eventually start believing it.
Pay attention to yourself more—your thoughts, actions, the words you speak. You may realize that you are putting negative attention to the wrong area in your life.
Once you realize what you are putting out there, you can fix it and remain in the positive and your life will make positive changes. Example: I had a friend who ALWAYS talked about her stomach and how big it was and always said “I hate this part of my body” EVERYTIME. I finally told her the truth that she would NEVER get the stomach she wanted when she continually put so much negative attention on it. I then referred her to the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I refer this book for every client that is STUCK. It is mainly a book of Law of Attraction: what you put your attention on will be what comes back to you.
So if you are always saying that you hate your stomach or how you feel, you won’t change. Negative thoughts will always feed off more negatives and things will not change. But if you want change, turn your words around and make positive changes more positives it will create more positives. YAY! If you don’t know where to start--read the book!
Here are more tips from me that I like to coach my clients on daily positive affirmations.
Start each morning with 5 good things about you and LOOK at yourself in the mirror. It may feel silly but you will eventually start believing in it and those words will become natural.
I have a rundown of things I like to include:
- I am beautiful.
- I am a great mommy.
- I am a Strong Determined woman.
- I take care of myself with proper exercise and nutrition.
- I love myself.
- Allow love in your life
The ability to love and be loved is a most basic human trait. We chase love in many directions yet rarely feel fulfilled. Accept that being loved begins and ends with you!
It’s hard to receive love if you don’t love yourself! People can say, “I love you,” and do nice things for you. But if you don’t love yourself, it still won’t make you feel content inside on a long-term basis.
Laugh at yourself and find humor in the simplest of things. Laughter is a powerful mood elevator. If you are feeling down, read some jokes, watch a funny movie or just act "silly" once in awhile. At times, let yourself see through a child's genuine eyes.
I watch YouTube videos when I want a good laugh. There are some silly ones out there and I’m always amazed at how those can change your day. Don't wait on what you want to do. There is never a good time for anything, so doing something you wanted to do will not only help you feel alive but also accomplished in life. It can be your reason to wake up in the morning.
Get Started NOW!
Figure out how you can start now, start small. Just start. You'll be so glad you did.Kind of like I just said, but again, I will repeat: if you are ALWAYS WISHING to make thing happen you may not get there. If you are always wishing to lose weight, to be thinner, or to be fitter, then you most likely won’t make any progress. You can’t keep wishing; you also have to do something about your situation.
You have to eat better and exercise regularly. Wishes don’t come true by themselves. It is up to you to fulfill them.
Fast Results Don't Work
Losing weight and becoming healthier isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time and effort, as well as set-backs. So don’t get too hard on yourself if you only lost 5 pounds in a month, because guess what---THOSE are realistic! If you keep your expectations and goals realistic, you are more likely to achieve them than if you expect superhuman objectives from yourself.
Who has said these lines before? “I will exercise tomorrow.” “I will eat better after this party.” “I will drink more water once I buy a bottle.” If you’ve uttered statements similar to the examples, then you are most likely procrastinating. You won’t get anywhere if you keep putting off your weight loss plans.
Instead say: Today is the day to start your weight loss endeavor.I will make better food choices today.I will exercise today. I will Drink water right now.
Don’t wait until it’s too late and don't be unwilling to do the work
Weight loss or any fitness goals by no means easy—there is work in the actual word!
It involves exercise, sweating, and eating food you are not used to. When you choose to lose weight, you should be ready to go out of your comfort zone.
If you are not ready for these things, then you won’t lose the pounds that weigh your body down.
Deprived and Missing Out
I get this one a lot! What comes to mind when you think about losing weight? Is it: no more sweets, no more drinking, no more smoking, no more regular night outs, or no more processed food?
It really doesn’t help if you constantly think that you are depriving yourself or missing out on the fun things in life. The longer it takes you to accept that you need to give up certain things, the longer it will be for you to start losing weight.
When you lose weight and become healthier, you don’t miss out on life; you get to experience life in a whole new light. Food is fuel for your body. If your body needed premium fuel to run like it should, you would not put regular fuel in a Bentley!
Constant Yo-Yo Dieting
Dieting is not the long term solution to weight loss. If you don’t agree with me, then you are on a road to self-destruction. You will most likely end up experiencing yo-yo weight, gaining back water weight, and feeling sorry for yourself.
If you want to lose and keep off the weight, you should accept that you need to make a lifelong change and commitment to have better eating habits. Find the important REASONS to change to your healthy lifestyle. Your reasons for losing weight serve as motivation in times when the going gets tough. Your motivation can be more than just weight-loss but also reasons like: sleeping better at night, keep your cholesterol down, regulate your blood pressure, etc.
That is why you need to have a reason that you will find absolutely important. That will be your motivation to keep going. I have clients write their goals down so they can see them every day. I have one client that will actually use a dry erase marker and put her goals on her bathroom mirror for a reminder.
Your reason should be something that will last a lifetime, not just for a certain season or event or for someone else. Because once that person is gone or the season or event has passed, you will be tempted to go back to your old habits. You might end up gaining back the weight you lost.
Excuses and Complaints
Trying to lose weight is hard for most people. I believe that making excuses and spewing complaints does not make it any easier for anyone—hey, I do it too. But in fact, excuses make it harder for you to be honest about your situation. Complaints just make you appear like you don’t want to take responsibility for your own well being.
Lastly, you are the driver in your life. Take the wheel and drive it on the path you want to lead. This is the only body given to you, so you were meant to take care of it inside and out.