Breaking Up…How To Deal With Suicidal Threats & Hate Mail
So you date someone…Maybe it lasts a year…maybe it lasts a couple months. You realize that, although you were interested in this person when you first starting dating, you’ve discovered that this is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
It’s called “breaking up.” Although it’s not fun, its what happens. Even the best of individuals can take a turn downward when someone breaks the news that it’s not the relationship they want to be in. Being upset is acceptable. Although people break up, most people still care about the individual they are breaking up with.
But..many people take it a bit too far…threatening suicide to make the person stay…sending hate mail…stocking.
Because of this, many individuals feel guilty about leaving, so instead of breaking up as they should, they continue to stay in the relationship..bullied, if you will… to stay.
This is the WRONG answer.
So..How do you leave? What do you do? You don’t want them to hurt themselves. You don’t want to feel responsible for their actions.
If you are getting hate mail, pictures of the other individual getting ready to hurt themselves, or other disturbing messages that make you think the other person may hurt themselves, there are some things you can do.
- Get in touch with someone close to them that can get to them quickly. First of all, you are NOT responsible for anyone else’s happiness or their actions. They are responsible for themselves. If you think they are serious, then contact someone that cares about them, and make sure they know the situation.
- Don’t hesitate to call 911 if you think they are actually in danger of hurting themselves. You can let them know that you are contacting authorities so they know, but regardless, if they’ve threatened their own life, you should contact someone.
- Don’t go visit them. It’s a bad idea to go see the person after the breakup, if they are saying they won’t hurt themselves if you just come over, or come back, and everything will be fine. What’s fine about someone threatening you? Nothing.
- Threats like this are typically part of a bigger problem. Depression, anxiety, eating disorders or addictions. It’s important for you to know…no matter what, you are not responsible.
- Don’t egg them on – Even though they might make you angry, its not wise to play into their game. It may escalate the situation. It’s best to break off contact, and if you feel threatened, let people know.
- Protect yourself and your family – Make sure you have home security, locked doors and someone watching over your home. Better safe than sorry.
- Get Help from a therapist – Obviously, the person making these kind of threats needs professional help, but it also would be wise to get therapy for yourself. If not a professional, at least a school counselor, or trusted friend, to get you through the trauma.
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