Be The Social Butterfly You Were Meant To Be- PART 1
I realized this weekend that becoming a social butterfly is a mindset. Whenever I go somewhere and meet different people, I always feel insecure...like "what am I doing here?" "What can I contribute to this conversation that anyone is going to remember or care about?" "What are these people expecting from me?"
My boyfriend Todd is the epidemy of social. He loves to talk to people everywhere he goes. I observed him all weekend, each stop, whether it be at a restaurant, gas station, club, or event, he always joins in the conversation, and people love him. It makes me appreciate him that much more. He's entertaining, kind and truly is fascinated with the different lives that people live.
So I asked him, "How do you do that? How do you just jump in the conversation like jumping in the water for the first time?" Todd says he just enjoys relaxing and learning about new people. It's not about having to be best friends with every person you meet. It's relaxing....just talking to people, and hearing about what people are like. He's loves it. Along the way, he tends to make a lot of friends too!
So....here are the "professionals tips" to show that ANYONE can become a social butterfly. Where ever you are at today, if you want to get more involved and focus on what's going on around you, rather than so much about what's going on only within you, here are some great tips. Lets' try them together!
COMMIT TO BECOMING A "BUTTERFLY"
You won't see a change in your behavior overnight...it's just basically saying..."OK....relax. I'm going to open the door to enjoy being more social." It's part of what I've always practiced with my work ethic. That is, change your mindset, change your life. It works! No one is judging you...and even if they are...it doesn't matter. All of us are equal. Money....no money...educated...not educated...we are all equal. Period.
SET ACHIEVABLE GOALS
Many people are super scared about even attending a party. They want to be able to do it, but they actually sweat just thinking about it. The key is to relax. There is no pressure here. The pressure typically comes from within, so stop pressuring yourself, and allow yourself to be a part of the situation. Maybe your first goal is just to attend an outing and smile....Be open enough to have eye contact with others, and chat back..be honest....I never know what to do when I come to these things....My name is Jack...your name is?" Something like that. Have it planned out. Make it small...try to push yourself to stay for 30 minutes...an hour. Small acheivable goals. Remember....You don't need to leave the outing with 15 new best friends...Just reach out, and enjoy the conversation.
DON'T BE FEARFUL
This is something we all put upon ourselves. Stop being so hard on yourself. Don't think that you have to live up to anyone else's standards about their views on you. Take FEAR out of the equation. Most people are worried about being rejected, or humiliated. If you fall...spill a drink....just laugh it off. Laughing at yourself is the best way to overcome things that really don't seem like much to anyone else. It's okay to be imperfect. And remember....take baby steps. If you mess up and forget...just review your situation, and you'll get there. Give yourself time.
The best person to be is YOURSELF. Be sincere...You are just fine the way you are. Be friendly and curteous, even if you're a natural crab apple. You don't have to be loud and fake laughing...If you have a big laugh, if things make you crabby...that's okay. It takes all kinds to make the world go around.
You might know how to do everything, but maybe just listen to what others can do. The best thing to do is to be confident, but try not to be a know it all. People like to talk about themselves...So if they ask you what you do for a living, tell them briefly, and then ask them the same. You may not even need to say another word. Getting the conversation started sometimes is as simple as saying, "So what do you do?" or "Where are you from?"
So get started. Start getting in the mindset of being a social butterfly. You can do anything anyone else can do. Don't set limitations on yourself. We can do this together! Let's get started today.