Jessica Sager

Back in 1998 when Ali Landry was a familiar face, she was primarily known as "the hot Doritos girl" after appearing in commercials for them. Then she got married to Mario Lopez and was known as "the hot Doritos girl who married Mario Lopez."

Now she's sort of just "that girl who's still pretty bitter about her marriage to Mario Lopez."

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Following her self-imposed Twitter hiatus, it's suspected that Demi Lovato is back in rehab.

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Remember how Lindsay Lohan promised she'd stay in on New Year's Eve to stay out of trouble? And then wound up partying in London? It turns out it was for a decent reason: The broke starlet was getting paid for it.

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Kim Kardashian will be married when she gives birth to her spawn with Kanye West ... just not to him.

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Is there anything -- or anyone -- Kesha won't do?

She has her assistant dress in a penis costume when she's cranky, she has sex with supernatural beings, she admitted she'd totally rock little Justin Bieber's world -- and now she says she's attracted to girls as well.

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Not content with all the tail he was regularly getting in the Playboy Mansion and eager for something deep and real, Hugh Hefner finally tied the knot with generic bimbo Crystal Harris, who was likely eager for bank accounts that were also deep and real.

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UPDATE: So it seems Shakira's womb still has an "ocupado" sign out front -- Gerard's tweet "coincided with the Latin American equivalent of April Fool’s Day," and several hours later he revealed the whole birth announcement thing was just a joke. Yeah, that's hilarious, dude.

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Congrats to Shakira! The Colombian heartthrob gave birth to a baby with her hot-as-Hades soccer player beau, Gerard Pique. (Seriously, look at his eyes. Un. Fair.)

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Taylor Swift's dumb, overused surprised face may actually be warranted today.

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Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore don't do much of anything, and whenever they do it's usually not worth watching. Still, for whatever reason (in Moore's case, that reason is actually "Bruce Willis"), they're both loaded. That cash may be why they stalled on splitting officially in the eyes of the court.

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Part of what makes Kesha so refreshing is how unapologetic she is for who she is and what she represents. There's more to her than glitter and garishness -- there's a heart. And Kesha's heart stung when she came under fire for her 'Die Young' lyrics in light of the Newtown, C.T. school shooting.

But that doesn't mean she should apologize for them.

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Sounds like Britney Spears was on the naughty list -- or else Jason Trawick is about to be put on it. The pair are reportedly on the rocks, and they may split for good if Christmas doesn't go over well.

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